


Everyone Thinks They're a Good Kisser

by microwavebubbles



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Slightly Spicy, Some short and sweet and fluff, but manageable, might make your throat burn spicy, team as a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29187492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microwavebubbles/pseuds/microwavebubbles
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	Everyone Thinks They're a Good Kisser

If asked, none of them would remember how the conversation ended up there.

It was one of those rare nights they had, a case ended, as close to a happy ending as they were likely to get. A family reunited, an unsub in jail. They got dinner in the hotel restaurant, allowed to switch off properly for a change. The rarer presence of Garcia at the dinner table meant they all drank a little more than normal, encouraged by her enthusiasm. They all had drinks, empty glasses littering the table as they became slowly louder, a little looser and laughing.

“Everyone thinks they’re a good kisser" Garcia stated, snapping chopsticks at the table as she reached for another egg roll.

“No no" JJ said, tying a hair tie around the end of Reid’s chopsticks as she replied, “all _men_ think they’re good kissers"

Emily laughed, nodding as she folded another duck pancake.

“Hey, I’ve never had any complaints!” Morgan protested, mock hurt in his voice.

“Of course not, but generally, you wouldn’t listen to criticism even if you did!” Emily replied. “If any woman has ever said _ooh baby just like that_ and then you immediately changed what you’re doing, you’re probably a terrible kisser.”

Morgan fell silent as the table erupted with laughter. He seemed deep in thought as he sipped a bottle of beer, cataloguing his past experience.

“No I’ve never done that" he said finally triumph in his face as he beamed. “What about you then Prentiss? Are you saying all women are amazing kissers?”

“No, I’m not saying all women are" she said, flicking a grain of rice at him “ _I am_ but I can’t say the same for all women"

The table again erupted with laughter. A waitress passed with a knife and fork for Reid, unasked for. They took the opportunity to order more drinks.

“Great it's noticeable from across the room that I can’t use these things" Reid said, gratefully grabbing the utensils as he pulled fried rice towards him.

“What even makes a good kisser?” JJ asked, playfully ruffling Reid’s hair as he grinned, cheeks finally full of food.

“If they’re good at it in any situation" Morgan answered. “They have to be as good in a nightclub as they are in the back-seat of a car as they are on their front doorstep"

“What a horrifying insight into your dating life Derek" Rossi said, laughter etched deep in his face.

“Shut up old man” Morgan laughed “You saying you have game?”

“Three women willingly kissed me at an altar, so yeah" Rossi replied.

“But they all left you" Reid said quickly, unthinking as he reached for the spring rolls.

The table erupted again in laughter as Rossi fixed Reid with a stern glare, the boy genius blushing furiously.

“They didn’t leave because I’m a bad kisser" he said. “In fact maybe that’s why they stayed longer than they should have”

“Sorry" he said, smiling with his cheeks again full of food.

“Well we saw the photos, we know Pretty Boy has some game" Morgan said

“Wait photos, what photos?" Emily said, looking around the table.

“Oh! I never told you about that? A few years ago Spence got caught by paparazzi kissing an actress in a pool. Looked like she had no complaints about his performance" JJ said as Reid’s face turned scarlet.

“On an active case" Hotch said, speaking for the first time, raising his eyebrows.

“Boy wonder!” Prentiss exclaimed, punching lightly at his shoulder “Didn’t know you had it in you" she said, laughing.

“If somebody is a bad kisser it doesn’t mean they’re bad in bed" Morgan said when the laughter died down.

“I don’t know. If they’re a bad kisser they’re not seeing the inside of my bedroom" JJ said, sipping her wine.

“Really?” Rossi asked.

“Oh yeah" Penelope chimed in. “I once kissed a guy who thought biting my tongue was the way to go, _no way_ he was getting near my garden of earthly delights"

Even Hotch cracked a smile at that as the table laughed again.

“If it’s Kevin you can just say Kevin” Prentiss said, lightly tapping the back of Penelope’s hand.

“So what is the rubric then?” Reid asked, his face finally back to its usual colour.

“start slowly, gentle at first, definitely don’t bite their tongue" JJ said, clinking her wine glass with Garcia’s.

“And then?” Morgan asked, leaning inward.

“Why? Want to take notes?” Prentiss said, laughing as she watched his expression.

“You think you’re such a good kisser Princess? Put up or shut up" Morgan said, leaning further forward.

Emily matched his movements, leaning across the table as she tilted her head towards him. Her face was inches from his when she palmed his cheek, pushing him away with a smile.

“You wish" she smirked as the table laughed again.

“I can vouch for Prentiss, she’s a good kisser" Penelope said, rubbing Derek’s shoulder in mock condolence.

“What? How?” Morgan said, his eyes swinging rapidly to Penelope.

“Sorry sugar, girls night is sacrosanct” Penelope grinned, massaging his shoulder.

“Kissing isn’t mechanical, it's emotional" Dave said, laughing at the bewildered shock on Derek’s face.

“What do you mean?” Emily said, rolling her eyes with a smile at the way Derek’s eyes swivelled from her to Garcia in rapid succession

“Well, you can say that it's all about soft lips and tongue and gentle and tender, but I’m sure we’ve all had _throw them against a wall_ kisses"

“I haven’t” Reid mumbled softly

“Yet" JJ answered kindly.

“So then how would you rate yourself, Dave? Scale of 1-10" Emily said, draining her wine glass.

“I’m a solid eight and a half" Dave said, laughing as he sipped his whiskey “Tens don’t get divorced"

“Morgan?” Emily asked, nodding towards him.

“mmm... nine?” he said, shrugging as he nodded to Penelope “baby girl?”

“Eight" Penelope said

“Me too" JJ replied, nudging Reid’s shoulder.

“Six?” Reid said, unsure.

“Only a six pretty boy?” Morgan asked.

“Acceptable and pleasant,” Reid said, nodding. “With room for improvement”

They all smiled at his earnestness, ever the student.

“Well I’m a ten, but we knew that" Emily said, laughing. “Hotch?”

“Never thought about it" he said, non-committal as he sipped his drink. “And never going to" he finished, grinning slightly.

“You that bad?” Emily asked, a teasing smile on her face.

“What I am is none of your business" he replied, laughing.

“Oof, that bad" Emily said, laughing as she raised her eyebrows at him. “Refusing to answer the question and then getting defensive? Are you a tongue biter boss?”

He fixed her with a stern glare, threaded with amusement. Prentiss was always the wild card on their nights out, varying between teasing and jovial (like she was now) and full of terrible ideas like swimming in a freezing ocean, which they had to talk her out of.

“Okay I’ll drop it" Emily said, raising her hands in mock surrender as she gave him a wink.

They continued laughing their way through another bottle of wine before retiring to their hotel rooms. A scheduling error ( _“deliberate or intentional"_ a stern Hotch had asked JJ when she told him the news) meant they weren’t required at the airstrip until after 10 am. All of them were looking forward to a rare night of uninterrupted sleep.

“If you’re that bad a kisser, I’d be happy to give you some pointers" Emily called down the hall as Hotch stilled at his door.

“Excuse me?” he said, turning to look at her. She was leaning against her outer door frame, casual and tipsy as she smiled at him, mischief in her gaze.

“If you need a tutor....” she said as he approached her down the hall. he joined her, leaning against the wall with a loose smile on his face.

“You think I was married for years am still a bad kisser?” he asked.

“But you’re not married, you’re a marginally attractive divorcee.”

“Marginally attractive?” he asked, laughing as she nodded, her gaze cocky.

“Well, Dave is right" Hotch said, shifting his weight against the wall, inching closer to her. “Its emotional, not mechanical.”

“Really?” Emily said, matching his shift so she was closer to him, her gaze defiant as she smirked at him.

“Mmm, like the first time you kiss someone. It’s the anticipation that makes your heart beat a little faster, pupils dilate."

He had moved so slowly Emily didn’t realise her back was against the wall, that he was leaning over her, his arm braced next to her face. He smelled vaguely like the ocean, his cologne a gentle salt that reminded her of the beach.

“Its that first touch” he continued, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. “that makes your stomach clench a little, makes you nervous" 

His hand was on her jaw, stroking his thumb lightly on her cheek. Emily felt her abdomen tighten as she straightened her posture, still not dropping her eyes from his. He was crowding her now, forcing her back against the wall as he towered over her, his touch feather-light. One hand braced against the wall next to her, the other feather-light against her cheek.

“It's not knowing if it will be fast or slow, gentle or... intense" he continued, his voice a whisper against her skin as Emily found her hands drifting to his waist, fingers in his belt loops as she pulled him closer to her.

Emily felt her breath hitch as he dipped his head towards her, his body pressing her harder against the wall, allowing her only the room to tilt her head back, accepting his intrusion into her personal space.

His lips were surprisingly soft when they met hers. His hand felt massive against her skin as he dropped it to her shoulder, trailed it lightly to butterfly against her ribs.

He was deliberate, methodical and withholding. Emily found it unsurprising but maddening as he kept his mouth soft against hers, each movement careful.

She pulled at his belt loops, encouraging him to press harder into her skin, coming off the wall with what little room she had to mould her body against his.

When his tongue touched her lower lip she felt electrocuted and parted her lips to grant him access.

Somehow he moved closer to her, covering her body with his as he wrapped both arms around her, nudged her knee with his so he could slip his leg between hers.

She could taste whiskey, and she wondered how he was managing to think about his hands, his legs, any other part of his body when his lips felt so fucking good attached to hers. The groan vibrated in her throat as she felt his thumb on her ribs, stroking lightly. Unconsciously she ground against his thigh as he let out a low rumble of his own.

It could have been minutes, or hours or days they stayed entangled, pressed against the wall, her hands twisting into his shirt as he pressed his thigh harder between her legs. She could feel her pulse steady at the apex of her thighs, blood rushing to the area as she encouraged him, rolling her hips against him as he kissed her deeper.

And then he was gone, pulling off her with such speed Emily couldn’t stop the pleading whine that escaped her lips. He gently stroked her lower lip with his thumb, skipping lightly over the soft flesh and grinned at her.

The stale air in the hotel hallway felt fresh and cool as he stepped back, allowing her to slump back against the wall.

He laughed, a deep rich chuckle as he looked at her, folding his arms.

“Pointers?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Emily laughed, finally snapping out of the haze of timelessness that had engulfed her when his lips met hers.

“Alright Hotchner. You’ve got some skills, but I’ll be prepared next time"

He laughed again “next time?”

“Not often two tens get to meet and fool around” Emily replied, raising her eyebrows as he made his way to her door.

“You really think you’re a ten?” he asked, smirking as he pulled the key card from his pocket. “Don’t worry, I can give you some pointers if you’d like. ‘night Prentiss"

“Night Hotchner” she replied, unconsciously running her thumb across her lower lip.


End file.
